给那个爱我的她：

几句简单的字，几句心底话已足以让我感动万分，泪流不止。
我从未离开，何来距离？？！！
俗语说：心与心的距离才是最遥远的，
就算今日我站在你眼前但心思却不在，你有何感想？

我也许人在他处，可心却从未离开。。。
“树欲静而风不止，子欲养而亲不待”，
我也害怕此谚语发生于我身上，可我有其他选择吗？
多少的夜晚我独自流泪
多少的夜晚我梦见了他们
梦醒后的我泪流不止
只身在外，从众朋直到孤身一人
心酸与心伤有谁知

我不知道是否今日的辛苦与牺牲换取来的未来能否让他们骄傲，
我不知道是否未来的我会怨恨今日的我
我不知道是否如今的我做了对的选择
有太多的不知道却不能让我就此拐道而行，
因为能有今日的我是他们多年的辛泪而换取的
如这一切都不在我的考量之中，那我还能配做他们的儿女吗？

今日的距离并非距离
今日的失去并非失去
今日的痛苦并非痛苦
今日的幸福并非幸福

感谢那个为我制造一双翅膀的他们
感谢那个为我加油的那个油站
感谢那个不辞劳苦为我照顾工匠们的那个她
也感谢那个让我栖搂的避风港

对我，一定要有信心
我并非忘根的人
我，一定要成为他们将来的一个避风湾
我，一定会做到
这，会是我们的约定！！

Situation

Have you ever wonder where will you be IF ... ? People always like to say IF I do this, IF I where there... for me, I try not to regret on every steps of my life. How do I do that? I always weight my options and make the best decision I can.
My life right now is a mess! Never in my life I feel so loss and have no idea what I should be doing next. I'm sure this is one of the process of growing; somehow I just can't get over how overwhelmed I'm right now. First, I really feel excited that I'm finally graduated. Then, I THOUGHT I'll be easily get a job and start my normal life as a grown person. After some times of looking for job and wondering around, I loss my purpose and feel useless of doing nothing right now.
The pass few days I was talking to few people who influence me a lot in the past years. I found out that making a right decision now is not that hard. I had became a me that All I need to do is to find back the old me and do the right decision that is BEST for me, MYSELF and no one else. Is $$$ all I wanted or career? right now, it is $$$$. Without it, I have no idea how am I gonna survive.
Everything will be put aside for this few months, after that I'll make my decision whether I will be going back to my family or not... and that... will be the decision that gonna change my life....